Latest Technology Headlines

If you can remember your password then it’s hopelessly inadequate, warn researchers

A team of researchers has discovered that the use of graphics cards as surrogate supercomputers could spell trouble for people who use passwords that they are capable of remembering.

Arabian authorities approve new Blackberry ‘String’ device

Following their move to disable email, the Internet and instant messaging among Blackberry users, Arabian authorities have been quick to approve the firms latest device communication device, the Blackberry String.

Discovery of old Zoo magazine points to unintelligent life on Mars

Researchers have identified the fossilised remains of an old Zoo magazine on the surface of Mars, leading to claims that the planet was once able to support a thriving community of thoroughly unintelligent life.

Security experts warn that stuff you put on the Internet is on the Internet

After a list of Facebook accounts with public details was published by a security consultant, experts are warning that any non-private information you put on the Internet is actually on the Internet.

We know exactly how fast our broadband is, insist single men

The nation’s single men have responded with disdain to the latest broadband speed research by insisting they know full well exactly how quick their own connection works during peak residential hours.

Wikileaks confirms Frank at 12 did have fling with ‘fancy woman’ at 16

Wikileaks last night blew the lid on the sordid carry-on between driving instructor, Frank Wilson, 42, of Horwich, and the woman who lives four doors down from the terraced home he shares with wife Lynn and their three children.

Star Trek fans bemoan invention of silent and invisible laser

After US firm Raytheon unveiled its silent and invisible anti-aircraft laser at the Farnborough Airshow in Hampshire, Star Trek fans everywhere insisted this was a bad day for the fictional gun fights of the future.

Millions flock to piece of shit Facebook fan page

Millions of Britons last night joined a Facebook group to express their overwhelming respect and sorrow for a recently flushed piece of human excrement.

10m without Internet access - what do you think?

“Before the internet came along, my husband was was just a lonely paedophile. Now he’s part of a huge network and he simply can’t imagine his life without it.”

Facebook users to ask Government for increased Farmville subsidies

As the government announced a partnership with Facebook which will allow members of the public to suggest potential areas for public cost savings, ministers have braced themselves for an onslaught of Farmville subsidy demands.

SPANK ME

KEITH LEMON

Latest Technology Headlines

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