Latest Technology Headlines

Chatroulette takes on YouTube in cretinous comments battle

The Internet was last night preparing itself for an epic battle of halfwits as two of the web’s biggest sites went to war with tech analysts suggesting the scrap between YouTube’s comments and Chatroulette could be the most ‘depraved and utterly cretinous’ in history.

Online smut a ‘fundamental human right’

Almost four in five people around the world believe that speedy access to the Internet’s myriad of high-definition filth is a fundamental human right, a recent poll suggests.

Anger as adult app removal makes masturbating to an iPhone more difficult

iPhone application developers have expressed anger at Apple’s decision to ban some adult-themed applications from its iPhone, as it prevents their customers from masturbating with the freedom previously offered by the hand-held device.

Google Buzz to keep social media professionals in work for further 12 months

Social media experts up and down the country are rejoicing at the spectacular launch of Google’s new bound-to-be-lucrative social media product ‘Buzz’.

Muggers desperate to be first to steal new Apple iPad

The nation’s technology savvy muggers were today gearing up for the race to be the first person to steal the new Apple iPad.

Chinese men busy bookmarking all the ‘good stuff’

As Google threatens to withdraw its services in China, men across the world’s largest nation have been busy bookmarking all of the best sites providing free smut and filth.

Tedious Facebook updates to become completely unavoidable

Facebook has announced a range of new privacy settings that will make it almost impossible to avoid seeing updates to the profiles of some of the network’s most tedious individuals.

North west train stations to be brought into 1970s

The Transport secretary Lord Adonis has announced a £50m programme to bring the most dilapidated train stations in the North West up to 1970s standards.

Police to be inundated with ‘my mate is a paedo’ Bebo requests

A social networking site Bebo announced plans to allow its users to report suspicious users to the authorities with the click of a button, police braced themselves for the inevitable onslaught of pointless investigations into bored teenagers.

New Call of Duty ‘unrealistic’, say under-equipped Armed Forces

The highly anticipated release of console game ‘Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2′ has met with criticism from Army officials for its unrealistic portrayal of life as a well-equipped British soldier.

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Latest Technology Headlines

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