Latest Education Headlines

Teenage boys delighted with current levels of media sexualisation

The nation’s teenage boys have responded to a report claiming that there is an over-sexualisation of today’s children by stating that they are perfectly happy with the current levels of sexual imagery, thank you very much.

Tories to insist teachers are brighter than some of the children in the class

The Conservatives are promising to make teaching “brazenly elitist” by ensuring that a BTEC Diploma in Transport Management no longer qualifies you to teach Geography to young adults.

Children to show teachers how to use Internet properly

Primary school children are to show teachers and other adults how to use the Internet as part of a new curriculum for children in England from 2011.

Children to get GCSE qualification in ‘not hitting women’

Every school pupil in England is to be taught that domestic violence against women and girls is generally a bad thing, as part of a new government strategy to state the bleeding obvious at every opportunity.

Being an utter bastard to your kids is good for them

Children regularly exposed to “tough love” principles, by parents who behave like utter bastards, are more successful in life, according to a study by think tank Demos.

Schools to tell depressed virgins exactly what they are missing

Parents’ right to pull their children out of sex education classes in England will end once the pupils turn 15, ensuring embarrassed teenagers will be forced to listen to Darren tell everyone about the time he got his ‘whole hand up there’.

Catholic church retaliates for crucifix ban by outlawing Italian paraphernalia

In response to an EU ruling banning crosses from Italy’s schools, the Catholic church has taken steps to ban all Italian influences from its teachings and practises.

7 year-olds encouraged to consider careers in shelf-stacking

Children as young as 7 are to be offered careers guidance under a new government scheme in a move to stop the nation’s youngsters getting a bit ahead of themselves.
With falling standards ensuring that most school leavers have nothing more than a tentative grasp on the skills required for career advancement, setting expectations early is [...]

CBI tells students to drink even cheaper alcohol

The CBI yesterday told the nation’s students that tuition fees could be increased if only they all agreed to drink cheaper, and ever more dangerous alcoholic fluids.

Highest global teen alcohol use and best-ever GCSEs ‘no coincidence’

A study has shown that UK teenagers are the highest consumers of alcohol in the industrialised world, leading experts to conclude this has contributed to further record GCSE exam results.

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Latest Education Headlines

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