UK spoof news and satire
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In the first real test of the coalition Government’s ‘big society’ rhetoric, the British people last night voted to amend the name of the Prime Minister’s new baby from ‘Florence Rose Endellion Cameron’ to ‘Laa Laa Cactus The Lizard Cameron’.
The English Premier League was yesterday thrown into constitutional turmoil as neither Chelsea nor reigning champions Manchester United emerged from the final day of the season with an overall points majority.
Following yesterday’s ban on the ‘legal high’ mephedrone, Britain’s Labour Party has today declared itself illegal as part of an ongoing crackdown on readily-available ‘dangerous governments’.
Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation has bought music and social networking giant MySpace, in a deal that will thrill ideologically challenged indie bands who would sell their grandmother to Satan in return for an industrial-sized fan base.
The Millennium Bug, humiliated by its pathetic failure yesterday to cause the downfall of western civilisation by buggering all computer systems, everywhere, forever, is now cowering sheepishly behind a skirting board in Hampshire, pondering its next move.
Sunderland boss Steve Bruce has angrily dropped star striker Darren Bent for the foreseeable future - after the burly frontman missed “probably the easiest pot he’ll have all season” in Saturday’s dramatic encounter with 18-times Snooker Champions Liverpool.
The UK’s Government and Opposition have both been threatened with prosecution for allegedly engaging in a “mutually beneficial” electorate-sitting arrangement for the last hundred years.
Michael Moore-inspired documentary film-makers the world over have been left “devastated” and “heartbroken” by yesterday’s tragic and anti-climactic acquittal of two British schoolboys in what has been dubbed the ‘Columbine copycat’ trial.
Portsmouth are to be controversially released from the Premier League eight months early on compassionate grounds after losing all their games, all their decent players, and all their hope and dignity for the season.
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