logo


NEWSARSE ARCHIVES



Authors



News by

Murdoch buys MySpace, giving new bands excellent soul selling opportunities

Murdoch buys MySpace, giving new bands excellent soul selling opportunities thumbnail

Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation has bought music and social networking giant MySpace, in a deal that will thrill ideologically challenged indie bands who would sell their grandmother to Satan in return for an industrial-sized fan base.


Millennium Bug now sheepishly pondering its next move

Millennium Bug now sheepishly pondering its next move thumbnail

The Millennium Bug, humiliated by its pathetic failure yesterday to cause the downfall of western civilisation by buggering all computer systems, everywhere, forever, is now cowering sheepishly behind a skirting board in Hampshire, pondering its next move.


Sunderland’s Darren Bent dropped for failing to pot the red

Sunderland’s Darren Bent dropped for failing to pot the red thumbnail

Sunderland boss Steve Bruce has angrily dropped star striker Darren Bent for the foreseeable future - after the burly frontman missed “probably the easiest pot he’ll have all season” in Saturday’s dramatic encounter with 18-times Snooker Champions Liverpool.


Labour and Tories accused of illegal electorate-sitting arrangement

Labour and Tories accused of illegal electorate-sitting arrangement thumbnail

The UK’s Government and Opposition have both been threatened with prosecution for allegedly engaging in a “mutually beneficial” electorate-sitting arrangement for the last hundred years.


Film-makers devastated as ‘Bowling for Audenshaw’ shelved indefinitely

Film-makers devastated as ‘Bowling for Audenshaw’ shelved indefinitely thumbnail

Michael Moore-inspired documentary film-makers the world over have been left “devastated” and “heartbroken” by yesterday’s tragic and anti-climactic acquittal of two British schoolboys in what has been dubbed the ‘Columbine copycat’ trial.


Portsmouth to be released early from Premiership on compassionate grounds

Portsmouth to be released early from Premiership on compassionate grounds thumbnail

Portsmouth are to be controversially released from the Premier League eight months early on compassionate grounds after losing all their games, all their decent players, and all their hope and dignity for the season.




SEND SOMEONE A NAUGHTY VALENTINES EMAIL

DAVID JAMES MAKES SAVES BLINDFOLDED!

THE PERFECT RUGBY VALENTINES GIFT!


LATEST NEWS HEADLINES

ALSO IN THE NEWS

Assisted suicide should be completely legal, insist potential heirs thumbnail Assisted suicide should be completely legal, insist potential heirs

The people set to inherit the houses of ageing sick people have insisted that assisted suicide should not only be legal, but should be actively encouraged among those taking overly long to shuffle off this mortal coil.

MORE STORIES

Homeopathy proven to work after overdosing protesters eventually fall asleep thumbnail Homeopathy proven to work after overdosing protesters eventually fall asleep

HAVE YOUR SAY

HAVE YOUR SAY Are Man City going too far offering £50m for the Geordie fan base?

THE LIB DEMS : DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING?

THE LIB DEMS : DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING? Is knowing they are the yellow ones really enough?

OK, THESE MIGHT NOT BE HEADLINES ANY MORE

RSS feed Subscribe to our feed       Delicious Are we delicious?       Digg Add us to Digg       Technorati Bookmark us       Twitter Follow us on Twitter