Police encouraged to gain more criminal records in war on crime

Lib Dem spokesman Chris Huhne has revealed figures showing that only one thousand serving police officers have criminal convictions of any description.
He said, “This is a disgrace.  How can we expect to fight crime effectively with such little practical experience on our side?”
However, Police Federation chairman Paul McKeever countered, “I’m afraid Mr Huhne has [...]

Scots no longer targetting global drinking league title

The Scottish Parliament has caused national outrage with its proposed plans to settle for 8th place in the Global Alcohol Consumption League.
Interfering killjoy politicians have decided that 8th place in the global drinking league is more than satisfactory for a country of Scotland’s size.
A Parliamentary spokesman said, “A place in the quarter-finals is a huge [...]

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