French Muslim women encouraged to try Groucho Marx glasses

Following a national ban on full face veils, French Muslim women still looking to conceal their faces should consider the use of Grouch Marx style glasses and false noses, French authorities have said.

France’s lower house overwhelmingly voted to ban wearing the Islamic full veil in public, with politicians claiming it is a victory for French values of “democracy and trying not to run away from things we’re scared of all the time.”

A government spokesperson explained, “I want people to realise that it is the full veil we are banning, not the practise of disguising your face. If they want to use something else, then that is fine.”

Suggestions have been put forward pointing out that Groucho Marx style glasses and nose combo is perfectly legal in France, and also has the added benefit of being both a disguise, and hideously unattractive to most males, even the French ones.

“I want to make it clear that we have no problem with Muslim women wearing fake glasses and a plastic nose with a moustache attached.”

“It might even brighten up the day of a passing stranger. Particularly if they have a big cigar with which to wave at people as they pass, and they use a funny walk.”

Sex object

The purpose of the veil is to hide the modesty of the woman, and to prevent them being seen as a sex object by the men around them.

Opponents of the new rules have suggested that using a Groucho mask might actually make the situation worse, not better.

Francois Merdtete, 38, told us, “I’m a Frenchman in the truest sense of the word, and I find moustaches and bushy eyebrows extremely attractive on a woman, so I’m really not sure how this suggestion will be in keeping with the Muslim faith.”

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French Muslim women encouraged to try Groucho Marx glasses

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