UK spoof news and satire
NEWSARSE ARCHIVES
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Page added on April 22, 2010
Budget airline Ryanair has told passengers left stranded by the Icelandic volcano that there will be a series of entirely optional administration fees for those looking to claim compensation for food and accommodation.
After previously stating they would not be paying compensation, the airline has relented, and has published the fee structure for anyone looking to make a subsistence claim.
Chief Executive Michael O’Leary told reporters, “In line with Ryanair’s stated aim of making flights as cheap as possible for all customers, we have implemented a series of charges for those passengers looking to take the compensation option.”
“I would emphasise that these charges are entirely optional, and any passenger wishing to fly with us and not seek compensation is still perfectly welcome to do so.”
“We feel that a series of charges aimed at minimising entirely unnecessary costs which could be incurred by Ryanair will benefit all passengers in the long run.”
Charges
The document outlining the charges for those wishing to make a compensation claims is seventy-three pages long, and includes extra costs for the following items:
Many passengers are already considering whether making a claim is worthwhile, or not.
Shane Long, 29 of Bracknell told us, “I’ve already got a three-hour £200 taxi ride just to get back to the remote airport they dropped us off at, so I’m not sure I can actually afford to make a claim.”
“I’ve just worked out it will cost me £142 to claim back this cup of coffee which cost me two Euros. But still, I suppose it will keep the flights nice and cheap, eh?”
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