Courts rule you must listen to all the rubbish Pink Floyd songs too

By Andrew Owen

Millions of music lovers were left reeling today after a High Court judge ruled they could no longer download “just the good bits” from online music retailers and must in future download an album in its turgid entirety.

The decision came after Pink Floyd successfully stopped their record label selling single downloads from their concept albums because it breached their wallets, and something or other about ‘artistic integrity’.

In the case of Pink Floyd album The Wall, fans will no longer be able to download only the good ones, such as Goodbye Blue Skies and Another Brick in the Wall, but will be forced to listen to all the really depressing stuff as well.

Even that one about the worms.

Appreciated

A band spokesperson explained, “It was a breach of our rights as creative entities, yes. Money is a secondary factor, definitely.”

“It’s always been our contention that you would appreciate the good stuff all the more if you’re forced to listen to the garbage tracks too.”

“It’s like tasting a cheesburger after a weekend on a health farm, it’s relative deliciousness is magnified tenfold.”

“But if you could just go straight for the cheeseburger and skip the weekend of tofu and celery would you really enjoy the cheesburger? What, you would? Idiot.”

“Yes, yes, I know McDonald’s don’t make you do that, but they didn’t spend three months in a studio making that fucking burger, did they!”

Music industry insiders explained that several bands now planned to challenge the ’skip track’ function on CD players.

“It’s simply not fair that people can buy, say, a copy of The Beatles’ Revolver album or Sergeant Pepper and completely ignore the ‘George one’,” the insider concluded.

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Courts rule you must listen to all the rubbish Pink Floyd songs too

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