Calls for tighter controls on socially unaware dogs

by Jon Price

There have been renewed calls for tighter controls on annoyingly over-familiar dogs today after a border collie persistently sniffed a Doncaster man’s groin during a social occasion.

Derek Snelgrove, 27, was having lunch with his new girlfriend’s parents when the socially awkward incident occurred.

“He was a bit nervous as it was the first time he had met them,” said one eyewitness.

“So I suppose he must have been a bit sweaty, which is probably what got Misty’s attention in the first place.”

“It was horrific. He tried to pretend it wasn’t happening, but his girlfriend’s mum was absolutely transfixed by the amorous mutt.”

Government

News of the incident has reopened the debate about keeping annoying and socially unaware animals in the house, with many calling for the government to intervene.

“There should be some sort of legislation to keep these creatures away from innocent people,” said one campaigner.

“If they’re not sniffing your nether regions they’re trying to hump you - where do these dogs get off? Apart from on your leg obviously.”

However others, like Sheila Cowarne of the Canine Defence League, claim that it is the dogs’ owners who are to blame.

“These animals are just acting on their natural instincts. Simply saying ‘he’s just being friendly’ and ’shoo her away if she’s being annoying’ is irresponsible.”

“At the very least they should be trained to buy you a drink first. Maybe even dinner at a local restaurant. It’s the least you should expect for a public dry humping.”

As the debate rages, Snelgrove is being treated for acute embarrassment with one relative explaining, “We’re all rallying round him, although he’s not had many get well soon cards yet. Mind you, he’s not had much post at all since his pit-bull Stalin bit the postman’s finger off.’

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