logo


NEWSARSE ARCHIVES



Authors



Page added on February 2, 2010

Email this to a friendEmail This Post                      Printable versionPrint This Post

Obama points NASA at new desolate inhospitable wasteland, near Dundee

Obama points NASA at new desolate inhospitable wasteland, near Dundee thumbnail

President Barack Obama has cancelled the American project designed to take humans back to the Moon, claiming there are still plenty of desolate inhospitable wastelands to explore closer to home.

Despite much criticism from the scientific community, President Obama insists the decision is the right one to make for the United States at the current fiscally restricted time.

He told reporters, “NASA has a reputation for exploring places as yet untouched by the hand of civilisation, and as such, locations like Dundee offer us a unique exploratory opportunity.”

“We still harbour the natural human curiosity to explore those corners of our solar system uninhabitable by intelligent life, of which there are plenty on the East coast of Scotland.”

“We still want our astronauts to experience the feeling of complete isolation, of being a million miles from home, which is common for most of the visitors who venture north of the Tay.”

Prepared

President Obama also claimed that this new mission would leave Nasa better prepared than ever before for the first contact with extra terrestrials.

“This mission will prepare us well for our first contact with alien civilisations,” he continued.

“We will have to deal with unknown languages, violent natives, and as yet unclassified virulent diseases.  It is the perfect dress rehearsal for first contact.

“We’ll also be saving $20bn dollars by not building a space rocket, and instead acquiring a couple of transatlantic flights and a train to Dundee station.”

The mission is scheduled for late 2010.



SEA, SUN & FUN

SUBSCRIBE TO THE FREE WEEKLY NEWSARSE ROUND UP!

ARTICLES & NEWS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED

Water found on Moon

Water found on Moon
And it is already significantly better than found in Spanish hotels

Dubai Financial Collapse

Dubai Financial Collapse
Lidl to open first Dubai supermarket for destitute Arabs

New EU Presidency

New EU Presidency
I never wanted the job anyway, Blair tells everyone



PLACES TO GET YOUR NEWSARSE FIX

Facebook Twitter email RSS

RELATED STORIES



SPANK ME


KEITH LEMON



LATEST NEWS HEADLINES

ALSO IN THE NEWS

If you need to use a train then it’s ‘peak time’, clarify rail firms thumbnail If you need to use a train then it’s ‘peak time’, clarify rail firms

Responding to claims that their peak-fare rules are unfair and confusing, train companies have explained that peak time is limited only to the times at which you want to use a train.

MORE STORIES

Survey finds public wants cold-callers banned, what do you think? thumbnail Survey finds public wants cold-callers banned, what do you think?

HAVE YOUR SAY

HAVE YOUR SAY Is Man Utd goal scorer Own Goal really worth £85m to Real Madrid?

HOMEOPATHY FINALLY PROVEN TO WORK

HOMEOPATHY FINALLY PROVEN TO WORK “This is the proof that that everyone is asking for. They took the sleeping pills, and just a day and half later they simply could not stay awake any longer.”

OK, THESE MIGHT NOT BE HEADLINES ANY MORE

RSS feed Subscribe to our feed       Delicious Are we delicious?       Digg Add us to Digg       Technorati Bookmark us       Twitter Follow us on Twitter