3D football coverage makes it appear Rooney is swearing right at you

The Premier League’s very first 3D football match was screened yesterday, with viewers claiming the effect was like having Wayne Rooney verbally abuse you in your own home.

The match between Arsenal and Manchester United ended 3-1 to United, with selected viewers around the country enjoying the match day experience in glorious high definition 3D.

Manchester United fan Dominic Meddows, of Surrey, told us, “It was like Rooney was right here in the room with me. He was right up in my face, I could almost taste the venom he was spitting out.”

“Sometimes when I’m watching the football on television I can find it very difficult to understand exactly what Rooney is saying to a referee.”

“It looks a bit like, ‘you’re f*cking joking you f*cking cheating bastard’ - well now I don’t need to wonder. He’s right next to me when he screams it.”

“I’ve always wondered what it must be like to verbally abused by an angry Liverpudlian, and now I know. Plus, this is actually the safest way to have a scouser in your home.”

The experiment in 3D television has been hailed as a huge success by all those who witnessed it.

Another viewer told us, “I actually wondered whether it would make the game seem more real, but every time Wes Brown tried to pass the ball I actually had to duck.”

“It doesn’t matter how bad his passing is, you just don’t get that in 2D.”