UK spoof news and satire
NEWSARSE ARCHIVES
Authors
Page added on January 14, 2010
As Google threatens to withdraw its services in China, men across the world’s largest nation have been busy bookmarking all of the best sites providing free smut and filth.
The move comes amid allegations of cyber attacks from Chinese authorities on gmail accounts of human rights campaigners based in China.
To date Google has had great success in showing the communist masses how capitalism has succeeded in allowed young eastern european girls to debase themselves on video for the titilation of bored travelling businessmen with a high speed internet connections.
A Google spokesperson said, “We are proud of our record in directing unimaginable volumes of free filth to the homes of Internet users across the globe.”
“But if China aren’t going to let us do what we want, when we want, and how we want, then we’re taking our ball home.”
Chinese users
One Chinese Google user told us, “I’m not even sure what I searched for to get here, ‘blonde nymphomaniacs’ I think, but I do know that once Google goes I’ll never, ever find this site ever again.”
“So Tianamen Square doesn’t show up in my search results? Who cares? The real issue here is how will I get my fresh supply of nubile western woman with no gag reflexes?”
“We’ve been told by the Government that China is no place for a portal to international filth, even the really good stuff.”
“Good Communist adult entertainment is a stern looking middle-aged woman shouting at you through a computer monitor for hours upon hours, and until Google came along, this is what we used to achieve our quite disappointing erections.”
“Now, if you don’t mind, I have a lot of bookmarking to do.”
ARTICLES & NEWS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED
Water found on Moon
And it is already significantly better than found in Spanish hotels
Dubai Financial Collapse
Lidl to open first Dubai supermarket for destitute Arabs
New EU Presidency
I never wanted the job anyway, Blair tells everyone
PLACES TO GET YOUR NEWSARSE FIX
![]() |
![]() |
|
|
RELATED STORIES
LATEST NEWS HEADLINES
ALSO IN THE NEWS
BP’s Tony Hayward seeking new scapegoat opportunitiesProfessional scapegoat and current BP chief executive Tony Hayward is expected to stand down this week, and is said to be looking for new opportunities to which he can bring his own unique brand of scapegoat expertise.
MORE STORIES
Queen barred from BNP garden partyHAVE YOUR SAY
Is Man Utd goal scorer Own Goal really worth £85m to Real Madrid?HOMEOPATHY FINALLY PROVEN TO WORK
“This is the proof that that everyone is asking for. They took the sleeping pills, and just a day and half later they simply could not stay awake any longer.”OK, THESE MIGHT NOT BE HEADLINES ANY MORE