Shock as Canary Wharf jumps two places to 215th tallest building in the world

September 12th, 2001

Following yesterday’s horrific attack on the World Trade Centre, London’s Canary Wharf was today elevated two places to the lofty position of the world’s 215th tallest building.

Little-known terrorist organisation Al Qaeda are already said to be claiming responsibility for the attack on the Word Trade Centre towers, citing it as a blow ‘to the heart of the Western godless infidels’.

A statement by Al Qaeda on Al Jazeera television stated, “Nothing will make you embrace the peaceful religion of Islam like the threat of being blown to pieces in your place of work by a man hoping to have sex with lots and lots of virgins.”

The attack has put London on high alert, with security services asking everyone to be extra cautious in the coming days.

A security spokesperson told us, “We are obviously being extremely vigilant, but we don’t have any particularly tall buildings in our city, though I believe Canary Wharf is now two places higher on the global list of tall buildings than it was yesterday.”

“Our hearts go out to our American cousins, and this day will no doubt live long in the memory; around the world people will look back in horror at the mere mention of 11/9.”

Ongoing cost

The cost of the attacks can not be measured in the lives lost alone, experts have warned.

A city of London spokesperson explained, “In addition to the thousands of victims lost during the attack, we in London are now going to have to reprint a large quantity of tourist brochures which have incorrect information about Canary Wharf’s position in the global tall building league.”

“This is the unseen cost of terrorism, but we will do it, we will happily incur the costs, because otherwise the terrorists have won.”

Al Qaeda are expected to be brought to justice swiftly, with the US stating that no stone will be left unturned.

US Secretary of state Colin Powell explained, “We will not rest until the perpetrators of this heinous crime are brought to justice, and we conservatively expect to have all Al Qaeda operatives in custody by Christmas. Easter at the very, very latest.”