logo


NEWSARSE ARCHIVES



Authors



Page added on December 31, 2009

Email this to a friendEmail This Post                      Printable versionPrint This Post

Publicans pour significantly smaller measures than you, finds study

Publicans pour significantly smaller measures than you, finds study thumbnail

People who drink spirits in pubs receive significantly less than they would if they were pouring their own drinks in the comfort of their own home, surprising new figures suggest.

The government’s ‘Reach Your Limits Campaign’ found that among 600 people tested, the average publican poured a measly 25ml, whilst the average home drinker poured a more generous 38ml.

The young were particularly generous, with people in their thirties offering measures averaging 57ml.

Hardened home drinker, 45 year-old Paddy O’Neil told us, “This reinforces what I’ve always said, that the people staying at home drinking themselves into a blinding stupor are some of the most generous people you could ever hope to meet.”

“Though to be honest, I’m surprised how tight some the others surveyed must be, because a bottle of whisky is just four shots in my house, just how small were the measures everyone else was pouring?”

Moderation

The alcohol manufacturing industry has been including free measurement cups along with spirits in the hope of convincing everyone they don’t actually want the bottle drunk as quickly as is humanly possible.

“Yeah, I had one of those free measuring cups,” continued O’Neil.

“But I found I had to get off the sofa every ten minutes for a refil, which sort of defeats the object of drinking at home.”

“I drink at home so I can sit, drink copiously, and then pass out - not so I can keep going back to the kitchen to accurately measure the amount of Gin a faceless politician thinks I should have in my glass.”

“I know my limits, and I only ever drink enough to numb the crushing pain and overwhelming feeling of despair that living in this country makes me endure every single day of my miserable life.”

“Once that goes, I stop drinking.  Or when the ambulance arrives, whichever comes first.”



SUBSCRIBE TO THE FREE WEEKLY NEWSARSE ROUND UP!

ENGLAND'S FOOTBALLING HEROES

ARTICLES & NEWS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED

Water found on Moon

Water found on Moon
And it is already significantly better than found in Spanish hotels

Dubai Financial Collapse

Dubai Financial Collapse
Lidl to open first Dubai supermarket for destitute Arabs

New EU Presidency

New EU Presidency
I never wanted the job anyway, Blair tells everyone



RELATED STORIES


GETTING YOUR NEWSARSE FIX

Facebook Twitter email RSS

BANNED ADVERT!


LATEST NEWS HEADLINES

ALSO IN THE NEWS

We could tell you, but then we’d have to kill you, say MOD thumbnail We could tell you, but then we’d have to kill you, say MOD

The Ministry of Defence has been accused of giving “misleading” answers to MPs scrutinising its budget after it told the committee that it could tell them where the money went, but then it would have to kill them.

MORE STORIES

Sugababes urged to resolve name dispute like women, in the ring thumbnail Sugababes urged to resolve name dispute like women, in the ring

HAVE YOUR SAY

HAVE YOUR SAY Are Man City going too far offering £50m for the Geordie fan base?

THE LIB DEMS : DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING?

THE LIB DEMS : DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING? Is knowing they are the yellow ones really enough?

OK, THESE MIGHT NOT BE HEADLINES ANY MORE

RSS feed Subscribe to our feed       Delicious Are we delicious?       Digg Add us to Digg       Technorati Bookmark us       Twitter Follow us on Twitter