Santa considers CWU call to stage last-minute walkout over conditions

Father Christmas is said to be considering a proposal from the Communication Workers Union to stage a late walkout leaving millions of children without their presents this year.

CWU union boss Billy Hayes has advised Santa that a Christmas Eve walkout would maximise disruption to Santa’s recipients and to draw maximum attention to the plight of his members via the most famous postal worker.

“Delivery services everywhere are facing modernisation and forced redundancies, yet our most famous member, Santa himself, still gets by perfectly well on a reindeer powered sled.”

“I don’t see anyone telling Santa to come into the 21st century, do you?”

Unhappy

Children everywhere have criticised the planned walkout, claiming the timing has been chosen purely to maximise the impact of the walkout and to ruin Christmas for everyone.

Hayes continued, “Well of course it’s been timed to deliberately cause disruption, what would be the point of calling a strike that nobody even notices?”

“Santa is a good unionised worker, and he will do as his union recommends, regardless of the impact.”

“If you want to blame anyone at all, blame the executive management for forcing the ordinary delivery man to modernise.”

“We don’t need modernisation, we just need more bloody reindeers, obviously.”

VICTORIA PENDLETON GIVES BACK

ARTICLES & NEWS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED

Water found on Moon
And it is already significantly better than found in Spanish hotels

Dubai Financial Collapse
Lidl to open first Dubai supermarket for destitute Arabs

New EU Presidency
I never wanted the job anyway, Blair tells everyone

PLACES TO GET YOUR NEWSARSE FIX

Santa considers CWU call to stage last-minute walkout over conditions

NewsARSE © 2008-2010