Police to be inundated with ‘my mate is a paedo’ Bebo requests

As social networking site Bebo announced plans to allow its users to report suspicious users to the authorities with the click of a button, police braced themselves for the inevitable onslaught of pointless investigations into bored teenagers.

Advocates of the systems say it will protect children whilst on-line, whilst opponents say that teenagers will instantly use it as another way to ‘punk’ their friends.

One Bebo user - who we questioned in the presence of a adult blood relative - told us, “Bebo is now so much better than Facebook, where the worst you can do is throw a sheep at them, or poke them, or tag a picture of them collapsed drunk in a youth club toilet.”

“Even humiliating them with a well-won game of scrabble has lost its appeal.”

“But now that I can report my mates to the rozzers for being paedos at the click of the button, there is no need to go to a phone box or anything.”

“It literally is the best thing to happen to social networking since all those games that tell me what type of sandwich I am. Ham and pickle, obviously!”

Criticism

Sites such as Facebook and MySpace have come in for fierce criticism for not including a similar warning button on their own sites.

A Facebook spokesperson said, “We realised very early on that our users cannot be trusted in any way, shape, or form,”

“And as such, we have decided against giving them a direct link to the law enforcement agencies of each country.”

“You just watch, the next time you annoy a teenager and a policeman mysteriously calls at your house claiming child abuse, you’ll agree with us. Just wait.”