3,000 people complain to Ofcom about themselves

By Andrew Driscoll

Ofcom has reported that it received 3,000 complaints from the public, about the public, following last week’s X-Factor result.

An Ofcom spokesperson told us, “The public seem to be deeply upset that they didn’t vote for the person they intended too and would like the chance to change their minds.”

“They also made it clear they were unhappy that Simon Cowell’s opinion differed from their own and would like this rectified in future episodes.”

A lack of public support saw everyone’s favourite Welsh female singer from the program, Lucie Jones, eliminated, while to the despair of the public Irish trolls John and Edward made it to next week’s show.

Boycott

Social networking website Facebook saw nearly 23.9 million empty threats to boycott the show within 45 seconds of the result being confirmed.

The Ofcom spokesperson continued, “Normally you would have thought these 3,000 complainants would have better things to do, but as they watch X-Factor, that is clearly not the case.”

Ofcom have promised to give the impression each case will be looked at individually, but would like to thank the public for saving the company 3 weeks worth of toilet roll.

A prominent member of the public stated, “We were very lucky this came around, there hadn’t been anything pointless for frustrated people like me to waste everyone’s time complaining about for a few weeks and weeks.”

“I just hope that Ofcom take my complaint about my behaviour seriously. I really am very angry with myself indeed.”

PM Gordon Brown has welcomed the complaints, claiming that such monumental errors of judgement among the public mean he still has a chance at the next election.