Jan Moir’s career to die of perfectly natural causes

The career of Daily Mail columnist Jan Moir is desperately clinging to life after suffering an adverse reaction following exposure to common sense, unbiased thinking, and the Internet.

Moir, who recently wrote about the death of Stephen Gately - suggesting that his demise was likely the result of ‘anything but’ natural causes - is now said to be preparing for the worst.

“It’s sad, but her career has had a good run.” said Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre.

“There are those who would call her a short-sighted bigot, perhaps even a wilfully deceitful crack-whore, but they don’t realise how upsetting the loss of her career will be to millions of witless homophobes and racists.”

“Now who will explain the world around them in terms they understand?”

“Exposing her article to rational-thinking Internet users, was perhaps asking too much of her career.  We will mourn its passing.”

Great Loss

One Mail reader told us, “All she did was speak the truth about Stephen Gately’s unusual death, because every Daily Mail reader knows that the gays can only die if you drive a wooden stake through their heart.”

“His death is very suspicious, maybe someone should think about interviewing all the immigrants, eh?”

As the Press Complaints Commission consider switching off Jan Moir’s career, there has been speculation among readers of the Daily Mail that foul play is to blame for its untimely passing.

“How can a career ‘die’, just like that?” asked one reader on a Daily Mail internet forum.

“There is clearly a homosexual conspiracy involved, it wouldn’t surprise me if there were some black people to blame as well.”

ENGLAND'S FOOTBALLING HEROES

RELATED STORIES

• Nick Griffin lied, we are totally violent, insist the Ku Klux Klan
• BNP to seek self-loathing ethnic minorities with very low IQs
• Earthquakes accused of institutional racism
• Panic spreads as hundreds die after reading Daily Mail
• I thought contest was about my tits, says beautiful homophobe

LATEST NEWS HEADLINES

• No ban on racist grandparents, say Government
• Take That star sorry for being caught cheating by The Sun
• Courts rule you must listen to all the rubbish Pink Floyd songs too
• Facebook criticised as man impersonates a girl who pretends to be a man
• Police defend ‘ignore it until it goes away’ crime fighting tactics

ALSO IN THE NEWS

We could tell you, but then we’d have to kill you, say MOD

The Ministry of Defence has been accused of giving “misleading” answers to MPs scrutinising its budget after it told the committee that it could tell them where the money went, but then it would have to kill them.

MORE STORIES

Sugababes urged to resolve name dispute like women, in the ring

• See, you can make good profits without making good shows, says ITV
• John Terry considering offer to become a South African polygamist
• Don’t panic, Only Fools and Horses repeats are perfectly safe, insists Thompson
• Cocaine use on the rise as real life becomes five times worse than ten years ago
• I’ll happily pay tax just as soon as I get my own way on everything, insists Lord Ashcroft
• One medal definitely a success insist British Winter Olympic team

HAVE YOUR SAY

Are Man City going too far offering £50m for the Geordie fan base?

THE LIB DEMS : DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING?

Is knowing they are the yellow ones really enough?

OK, THESE MIGHT NOT BE HEADLINES ANY MORE

• France surrenders to advancing storm front
• Teenage boys delighted with current levels of media sexualisation
• Fans panic as Bridge retirement puts Neville one place closer to recall
• Tragedy as killer whale does exactly what it says on the tin
• Men everywhere dusting off old Cheryl Cole fantasies
• India arrests Britons for having embarrassingly dull hobby