UK spoof news and satire
NEWSARSE ARCHIVES
Authors
Page added on October 9, 2009
NASA is set lose its no-claims bonus after deliberately crashing two unmanned spacecraft into the Moon in a bid to detect the presence of something other than grey dust.
A two-tonne rocket stage collided with the moon after astronauts tied the steering wheel in place with a rope, and pushed the accelerator down with a brick.
A second spacecraft packed with science instruments analysed the contents of the resultant dust before crashing in exactly the same way.
A NASA spokesperson explained that they did not expect their insurance premiums to rise as a result of this ’success’.
“Crashing really big things into each other has long been a corner stone of scientific discovery, and we are no different.”
“Okay, we may have accidentally forgotten mention that these vehicles were going to be driven into the moon whilst renewing our insurance, but is that a crime?”
Reckless
Direct Line insurance have been quick to criticise the reckless behaviour on the latest lunar mission.
“Firstly no-one was driving the vehicle? We would have expected better to be honest.”
“But deliberately crashing into something is explicitly excluded in their policy, which will result in the loss of their no-claims bonus I’m afraid.”
“Unless they can prove that the fully-comprehensive insured moon jumped out in front of them?”
ARTICLES & NEWS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED
Water found on Moon
And it is already significantly better than found in Spanish hotels
Dubai Financial Collapse
Lidl to open first Dubai supermarket for destitute Arabs
New EU Presidency
I never wanted the job anyway, Blair tells everyone
RELATED STORIES
LATEST NEWS HEADLINES
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Assisted suicide should be completely legal, insist potential heirsThe people set to inherit the houses of ageing sick people have insisted that assisted suicide should not only be legal, but should be actively encouraged among those taking overly long to shuffle off this mortal coil.
MORE STORIES
Homeopathy proven to work after overdosing protesters eventually fall asleepHAVE YOUR SAY
Are Man City going too far offering £50m for the Geordie fan base?THE LIB DEMS : DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING?
Is knowing they are the yellow ones really enough?OK, THESE MIGHT NOT BE HEADLINES ANY MORE