Football fan uses Internet to tackle footballer rip-offs

By Mark Pearson

A dedicated football fan is launching a website aimed at helping fellow supporters avoid being ripped off or getting bad service.

Middlesbrough supporter Albert Pierrepoint came up with the idea after being dissatisfied with a club that continually wasted his season ticket cash on so called “footballers” that persistently refused to put in a shift, and couldn’t hit a barn door with the aid of a rather large, laser-guided banjo.

Rip-off

This frustration, when coupled with coaches that couldn’t ‘manage’ a hard on in a whorehouse, led him to consider ways of preventing his fellow supporters continually being ripped off.

The website, which was funded by Albert from his own pocket after seeing a particularly abject performance from his own team, will save supporters money, he says.

“There are some clubs, for example, who see ‘fans’ as simply a way to make money.  They see you’re a lifelong supporter, and suddenly they can put £200 on the price of a season ticket because they know you won’t question it.”

“Now, if you’re thinking of spending a grand on a season ticket to watch a team full of work-shy, preening prima-donnas, we are able to warn you before you make a terrible. terrible mistake.”

Website

Platinum Supporters will feature clubs that offer “hard work, commitment and skill” - from defenders and midfielders to wingers and forwards - which have been vetted and deemed “trustworthy” by fans across the country.

There are also coaches, financial controllers and chairmen - most of whom have been used by, or recommended to him by other supporters.

The UK’s 1,000,000 football fans will be sent secure log-in details for the invitation-only site.

ENGLAND'S FOOTBALLING HEROES

RELATED STORIES

• FA tells England fans, Internet can do more than porn, honest
• Facebook criticised as man impersonates a girl who pretends to be a man
• Chatroulette takes on YouTube in cretinous comments battle
• Online smut a ‘fundamental human right’
• Fans panic as Bridge retirement puts Neville one place closer to recall

LATEST NEWS HEADLINES

• No ban on racist grandparents, say Government
• Take That star sorry for being caught cheating by The Sun
• Courts rule you must listen to all the rubbish Pink Floyd songs too
• Facebook criticised as man impersonates a girl who pretends to be a man
• Police defend ‘ignore it until it goes away’ crime fighting tactics

ALSO IN THE NEWS

We could tell you, but then we’d have to kill you, say MOD

The Ministry of Defence has been accused of giving “misleading” answers to MPs scrutinising its budget after it told the committee that it could tell them where the money went, but then it would have to kill them.

MORE STORIES

Sugababes urged to resolve name dispute like women, in the ring

• See, you can make good profits without making good shows, says ITV
• John Terry considering offer to become a South African polygamist
• Don’t panic, Only Fools and Horses repeats are perfectly safe, insists Thompson
• Cocaine use on the rise as real life becomes five times worse than ten years ago
• I’ll happily pay tax just as soon as I get my own way on everything, insists Lord Ashcroft
• One medal definitely a success insist British Winter Olympic team

HAVE YOUR SAY

Are Man City going too far offering £50m for the Geordie fan base?

THE LIB DEMS : DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING?

Is knowing they are the yellow ones really enough?

OK, THESE MIGHT NOT BE HEADLINES ANY MORE

• France surrenders to advancing storm front
• Teenage boys delighted with current levels of media sexualisation
• Fans panic as Bridge retirement puts Neville one place closer to recall
• Tragedy as killer whale does exactly what it says on the tin
• Men everywhere dusting off old Cheryl Cole fantasies
• India arrests Britons for having embarrassingly dull hobby