Man-flavoured chocolate actually ‘quite delicious’

By Jeff Flynn

A controversial new chocolate is set to rock the confectionery world after Cocoa Services Inc. of New Jersey, USA, has created a new ‘man-flavoured’ brand of candy bar.

“It’s been in development for decades, ever since ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’ came out in paperback”, claimed a spokesman.

“Initially, we wasted several decades trying to make those new-fangled ‘fizzy-lifting drinks’, but had to give up because they are, quite frankly, complete bullshit. “

Luckily for the firm, it fell to two lowly ‘temp’ employees to discover the new brand, quite by accident.

He further explained, “Fortuitously, one of the workmen realised that by simply leaping head-first into a VAT of super-heated chocolate and getting minced-up to-fuck by the mixing blade, he could add his own fulsome, ill-educated essence to our regular cocoa mixture, with surprisingly tasty results.”

Delicious

When asked about the new flavour, entitled “Idiot Candy” he continued “Well, it’s quite moorish, like heroin or crack cocaine, but with the added bonus that we can sell legally over the counter in WalMart.”

The company, who are experiencing unprecedented demand for their new flavour are planning to expand the brand.

“We are looking at other groups of sub-normal, utterly retarded individuals, as they seem to make the tastiest treats”, and added “I’m trying to persuade the couple who own a barn down the road from our factory to sell us their son.”

“They look like they might be brother and sister, so I bet you that kid tastes like honey!”

There are currently no plans to distribute the confectionary in the UK at this time.

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