News from June 2009

Setanta surprise as ‘charging more for same service’ fails miserably

Setanta, the Irish sports pay channel, has seen its football broadcast package sold to ESPN after its business model of charging extra cash, for what people already had, performed exactly as everyone who didn’t work for Setanta predicted.

Microsoft to launch Liver-Professional product

As Apple announced that Chief Executive Steve Jobs had installed the world’s first iLiver, Microsoft have moved quickly to announce their own detoxification and protein synthesis product due for release this month.

We stole Elgin marbles fair and square, museum tells Greeks

The British Museum today told Greek President Karolos Papoulias that the Elgin marbles would not be returned to the Acropolis museum because Britain stole them fair and square 200 years ago.

Obama is just about the worst ninja ever, say Ninjas

President Obama this week impressed the entire planet by swatting a fly with so-called ninja-like reflexes, but the ninja union has been quick to point out that he is definitely not one of their members.

We need more genuine danger in our schools, say teachers

Nearly half of all teachers believe the health and safety culture in schools is damaging children’s learning and development, and that we should reintroduce an element of danger, a survey suggests.

The less you control the better, Bank of England tells Darling

Bank of England Governor Mervyn King yesterday told the Government that it should relinquish the right to do anything at all and allow the professionals to have a go.

Subsidised filth to be made available to all villagers

The Government has announced that every Briton with a fixed-line phone will pay a “small levy” of 50p per month to pay for all villages to have speedy access to the myriad of filth available on the Internet.

Iranian Guardian Council to recount all of the fake ballots

Iran’s Guardian Council says it is ready to recount all of the fake ballots from Friday’s presidential poll, which has led to three days of unrest on the streets of Tehran.

Oh why bloody bother with an inquiry, everyone asks Brown

As the Government announced an independent inquiry into the Iraq war that will be held in private, compel no-one to testify, and apportion no blame, everyone asked Gordon Brown why we should fucking bother.

Scots should keep more Scottish taxes in Scotland, says Scottish review

The Commission on Scottish Devolution has recommended a ‘radical’ new approach whereby Scotland should keep more of the tax revenue paid by Scots living in Scotland.

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News from June 2009

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