Iconic ‘Bluebird’ caught speeding on Coniston Water

By Ben Day

Donald Campbell’s iconic Bluebird K7 has received a speeding ticket after being caught doing 100mph in a 10mph zone by water safety cameras.

The vessel, which was salvaged from Coniston Water in 2001, was on a pre-agreed testing exercise when it was snapped.

Safety

The Lake District National Park Authority, which is responsible for reducing the amount of speeding related deaths on lakes across the area, said: “whether it was a pre-agreed test of the Bluebird or not, these idiots need to know that we’re serious about catching them”.

A spokesperson for the authority explained that cameras were not the only safety measure installed:

“We’ve installed signs and all sorts of other shit around the lake. Yeah, it’s not popular, but if it stops those chavs speeding around in their souped up boats, then mission accomplished.

Mobile Cameras

“We also have a fleet of mobile water safety cameras which hide in trees at the side of lakes and catch out unsuspecting sailors who break our laws. We don’t set out to trap sailors – but hey, if they speed, we’ll catch them.”

The safety cameras, which were installed at a cost of several million pounds to the taxpayer, are expected to reduce deaths from speeding on lakes by as much as one per century.

So far, at least two other fines have been handed out. Authorities deny that the cameras are a money-making exercise.