UK spoof news and satire
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Page added on May 21, 2009
West Indies cricket captain Chris Gayle caused a stir this week when he revealed his complete ambivalence towards the sport he has spent his entire life playing.
During the recent humiliation against one of the most mediocre England teams in the past decade, he described the test version of the game as “the biggest waste of five days of my life”.
Considering this is a game which has paid his living for the past fifteen years of his life, the outburst is seen by many commentators as an act of bitterness at not actually being all that good.
“It’s not because we’re rubbish. Far from it.” said Gayle.
“I’ve always thought this way, even when we win. Ask anyone.”
“But let me know who you are asking first, so I can check they are happy for you to check with them. Then you are free to ask them if that’s what I’ve always said.”
Shorter format
He slightly retracted his statement by later saying that he enjoyed the shorter forms of the game, especially Twenty-20, in which games are over in generally less than three hours.
In the interests of brevity Gayle has proposed a new version of the game, consisting of five, two-ball overs.
He said of the idea, “Fifteen minutes is enough time in anyone’s life to dedicate to throwing a leather ball at a man with a fat wooden stick.”
“Really, am I the only person who thinks it is utterly ridiculous that a sports match can last five full days and still end in a draw?”
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