MPs urgently seeking new expenses scapegoat

Michael Martin is understood to be preparing to announce he will stand down as Commons Speaker leaving the country’s MPs with nobody else to point the finger at.

There is concern that once the Speaker is removed from his position, media attention with again return to the voracious self-indulgent MPs themselves.

Mr Martin has been criticised over his handling of the furore over MPs’ expenses and a motion of no confidence in him has been backed by 23 MPs.

Don’t Go

However, every single MP was hoping he would stay in office allowing valuable column inches to be taken up with speculation as to whether he would actually stay or go.

“This is a disaster,” said one Tory backbencher.

“I know we asked him to resign, but we didn’t want him to actually ‘resign’. Don’t believe everything I say, I’m a politician for God’s sake.”

“What sort of precedent does his resignation set? A fucking terrifying one, that’s what sort of precedent it sets.”

“He could have stayed till summer recess, couldn’t he? Now those fucking journos will be back hounding me and my pals.”

“I suppose it’s a good job I have a nice clean moat to protect me.”

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MPs urgently seeking new expenses scapegoat

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