World’s best Dad receives suspended prison sentence

A father who asked an undercover police officer posing as a prostitute to take his 14-year-old son’s virginity has been given a suspended prison sentence.

The 42 year-old man, who can not be named for legal reasons, showed a stunning level of insight into the true birthday wishes of every fourteen year-old boy in the country.

The lack of a custodial sentence has been seen as a victory by recipients of rubbish birthday presents everywhere.

“I got a bike,” said 14 year-old Rupert Jones.

“A fucking bike. Has my Dad even SEEN the posters on my wall?”

“I asked for a whore, but he went mental and said it was completely out of the question. I hate him so much.”

“I wish my Dad was more like Mr X. He sounds awesome.”

Birthday

The man decided to buy his son a prostitute after finding out he was the only virgin in his class at the local secondary school.

Nottingham Crown Court heard that he had approached the undercover policewoman in the Mapperley area in July believing her to be a prostitute.

Upon discovering she was in fact a policewoman, he offered to pay extra and was willing to go as high as 20% over the going rate.

“You can understand his position,” said a spokesperson for the Parents Association.

“A Nintendo Wii can set you back nearly £200.”

“But a you can buy a roll around in the back of a car with a crack whore for less than £50.”

“You could buy him two and still be quids in. There is a recession on, after all.”

VICTORIA PENDLETON GIVES BACK

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World’s best Dad receives suspended prison sentence

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