UK spoof news and satire
NEWSARSE ARCHIVES
Authors
Page added on May 11, 2009
Gas and electricity customers using new smart meters are in for a treat, says British Gas.
From 2010, not only will new meters allow customers to see how much energy they are using, but the new software upgrade will incorporate a built-in GPS unit.
Doubling Estimates
A spokesman for the utility giant said: “This service offers a significant advantage to the service offered by our competitors, because our customers will be able to see the location of their house updated in real time, 24 hours a day.”
The energy supplier is thought to be in talks with Apple over an iphone app which will allow users of the handheld device to check their home’s position from anywhere around the globe.
The move is widely expected to be the world’s first use of in-home satnav.
Snivel Liberty
However, not everyone agrees with the technology.
Privacy rights watchdog Liberty said: “This information will sit on a database somewhere and could be used by power companies to find out where literally millions of customers live.”
“This could in turn be passed on, or people could use the billing correspondence to open bank accounts or order British passports.”
In an apparent snub to the competition, the British Gas spokesman went on: “Our competition is E-ons behind us. They’re like Virgins compared to the prowess we display.”
Puns aside, the new smart meters are sure to spark more debate.
ARTICLES & NEWS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED
Water found on Moon
And it is already significantly better than found in Spanish hotels
Dubai Financial Collapse
Lidl to open first Dubai supermarket for destitute Arabs
New EU Presidency
I never wanted the job anyway, Blair tells everyone
PLACES TO GET YOUR NEWSARSE FIX
![]() |
![]() |
|
|
RELATED STORIES
LATEST NEWS HEADLINES
ALSO IN THE NEWS
If you need to use a train then it’s ‘peak time’, clarify rail firmsResponding to claims that their peak-fare rules are unfair and confusing, train companies have explained that peak time is limited only to the times at which you want to use a train.
MORE STORIES
Survey finds public wants cold-callers banned, what do you think?HAVE YOUR SAY
Is Man Utd goal scorer Own Goal really worth £85m to Real Madrid?HOMEOPATHY FINALLY PROVEN TO WORK
“This is the proof that that everyone is asking for. They took the sleeping pills, and just a day and half later they simply could not stay awake any longer.”OK, THESE MIGHT NOT BE HEADLINES ANY MORE