iPhone users too busy demonstrating features to make calls

A new survey has shown that the average iPhone user spends just 12% of their time on the device actually making calls and using the Internet.

The other 88% of their time is spent being inexplicably smug to friends and acquaintances whilst demonstrating what the iPhone can do.

“I feel like I own one already the amount of times I’ve had one demonstrated to me,” said one friend of an iPhone user.

“It’s shiny, it’s new, it’s cool, you couldn’t live without it. I get it.”

We asked one iPhone user how often he uses the device to actually make calls and surf the Internet.

He said, “Hang on, look at this first. I can listen to a track, click here, find out if they’re in concert close by, get directions and then book tickets. I won’t, because I hate Girls Aloud, but you know, I could. If I wanted to. Isn’t that amazing?”

Applications shmapplications

The iPhone application market has served to dramatically increase the level of smugness among iPhone users with the advent of several graphically interesting, yet entirely pointless applications.

We spoke to one iPhone application customer, who said “Check this out. It’s like a pint of lager, right, with bubbles and everything. But if I tip it up, it drains away as if I was drinking it! Isn’t that cool?”

Apple’s iPhone business model is reliant on shared call revenues from the UK’s exclusive mobile carrier O2.

As such, Apple CEO Steve Jobs has been quoted as saying, “I wish people would just get on and use it to make some fucking calls already.”

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iPhone users too busy demonstrating features to make calls

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