WeekArse Issue 3

WeekArse magazine returns by popular demand, with this week’s issue containing the following articles.

Slough
And 50 other places to avoid before dying.

Homosexuality
Do two gay wrongs make a gay right?

God’s Work
It’s got his name on it, so it’s his to sort out, surely?

Black Presidents who aren’t dictators
We scour the globe in search of one.

VICTORIA PENDLETON GIVES BACK

PLACES TO GET YOUR NEWSARSE FIX

RELATED STORIES

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LATEST NEWS HEADLINES

• Government tells MoD ‘be more careful with your pocket money’
• Government to introduce ’single’ benefit payment, what do you think?
• Discovery of old Zoo magazine points to unintelligent life on Mars
• Home Secretary demands more efficient punishments for kids to completely ignore
• Security experts warn that stuff you put on the Internet is on the Internet

ALSO IN THE NEWS

BP’s Tony Hayward seeking new scapegoat opportunities

Professional scapegoat and current BP chief executive Tony Hayward is expected to stand down this week, and is said to be looking for new opportunities to which he can bring his own unique brand of scapegoat expertise.

MORE STORIES

Queen barred from BNP garden party

• Shut up! We know loads about doin’ it, insists NUT
• We’ve been really busy with other non-G20 stuff, insist CPS
• Redknapp claims Gordon Brown can win next election
• Liverpool fans draw lots to see who will rob Joe Cole’s house
• Griffin to spend afternoon swapping jokes with Prince Philip
• Eton history teacher refusing to leave bathroom

HAVE YOUR SAY

Is Man Utd goal scorer Own Goal really worth £85m to Real Madrid?

HOMEOPATHY FINALLY PROVEN TO WORK

“This is the proof that that everyone is asking for. They took the sleeping pills, and just a day and half later they simply could not stay awake any longer.”

OK, THESE MIGHT NOT BE HEADLINES ANY MORE

• Nation in shock as rising HIV rate shows old people definitely still having sex
• The rise of Justin Bieber also ‘not BP’s fault’ clarifies Cameron
• Government to simplify way in which it takes all your money
• Blowing people up raises risk of being blown up, admits former MI5 chief
• Star Trek fans bemoan invention of silent and invisible laser
• Vince Cable takes charge of Department of The Bloody Obvious