UK spoof news and satire
NEWSARSE ARCHIVES
Authors
Page added on March 12, 2009
The government is set to launch a probe into allegations that police probes probed ongoing probes.
“This habit of probe probing is a very poor probe practice and will not be tolerated” said Maureen Filch, head of the governments Probing Office.
“If probes can’t probe without being probed themselves then what is the point in having probes?”
Probe
A spokesman for the Metropolitan Police was alarmed by the Governments attitude.
“Both the government and the Met have a long tradition of launching probes.”
“They are one of the most effective methods of diffusing public outcry without actually doing anything useful.”
“But for probes to be effective we must ensure that our probes are not being probed…by probing those probes. Probes must be probed to be probeworthy.’
Probe
But Maureen Filch was adamant yesterday when speaking from the steps of her Gloucester home.
“Mark my words – if our probe finds anyone probing probes, they will be put on immediate probation.”
The Commissioner of the UK Police forces wanted to commment, but claimed not to understand the question.
ARTICLES & NEWS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED
Water found on Moon
And it is already significantly better than found in Spanish hotels
Dubai Financial Collapse
Lidl to open first Dubai supermarket for destitute Arabs
New EU Presidency
I never wanted the job anyway, Blair tells everyone
RELATED STORIES
LATEST NEWS HEADLINES
ALSO IN THE NEWS
We could tell you, but then we’d have to kill you, say MODThe Ministry of Defence has been accused of giving “misleading” answers to MPs scrutinising its budget after it told the committee that it could tell them where the money went, but then it would have to kill them.
MORE STORIES
Sugababes urged to resolve name dispute like women, in the ringHAVE YOUR SAY
Are Man City going too far offering £50m for the Geordie fan base?THE LIB DEMS : DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING?
Is knowing they are the yellow ones really enough?OK, THESE MIGHT NOT BE HEADLINES ANY MORE