logo


NEWSARSE ARCHIVES



Authors



Page added on February 19, 2009

Email this to a friendEmail This Post                      Printable versionPrint This Post

Murderers unhappy at ‘joke’

Murderers unhappy at ‘joke’ thumbnail

Murderers at Belmarsh prison are said to be unhappy at the growing popularity of a joke told at fifteen-year anniversary parties.

The joke, which likens being married to being incarcerated, implies that the husband would have served less time had he killed his wife instead of marrying her.

It’s popularity has grown in recent times as the average sentence for murder has dropped to a level more appropriate for Crystal anniversary celebrations.

Sucking Cock

Ed Grimshaw, 44, is currently 8 years into a 19 year sentence for choosing to murder his fiancée, instead of marrying her.

“They don’t know what it’s like.  I see the sun an hour a day and have to suck cock for TV privileges.”

“Given my time again, I would give serious consideration to marrying her instead of killing her to death.  Honestly.”

We attended a fifteen year anniversary celebration where the joke was used, and when questioned the organiser said, “It’s a joke, I don’t really wish I’d killed her… or do I?  HAHAHA!!”



VICTORIA PENDLETON GIVES BACK

SUBSCRIBE TO THE FREE WEEKLY NEWSARSE ROUND UP!

ARTICLES & NEWS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED

Water found on Moon

Water found on Moon
And it is already significantly better than found in Spanish hotels

Dubai Financial Collapse

Dubai Financial Collapse
Lidl to open first Dubai supermarket for destitute Arabs

New EU Presidency

New EU Presidency
I never wanted the job anyway, Blair tells everyone



PLACES TO GET YOUR NEWSARSE FIX

Facebook Twitter email RSS

RELATED STORIES

NAUGHTY VOLVO



RACE ONLINE WITH LEWIS HAMILTON



THE LAST AIRBENDER TRAILER




LATEST NEWS HEADLINES

ALSO IN THE NEWS

BP’s Tony Hayward seeking new scapegoat opportunities thumbnail BP’s Tony Hayward seeking new scapegoat opportunities

Professional scapegoat and current BP chief executive Tony Hayward is expected to stand down this week, and is said to be looking for new opportunities to which he can bring his own unique brand of scapegoat expertise.

MORE STORIES

Queen barred from BNP garden party thumbnail Queen barred from BNP garden party

HAVE YOUR SAY

HAVE YOUR SAY Is Man Utd goal scorer Own Goal really worth £85m to Real Madrid?

HOMEOPATHY FINALLY PROVEN TO WORK

HOMEOPATHY FINALLY PROVEN TO WORK “This is the proof that that everyone is asking for. They took the sleeping pills, and just a day and half later they simply could not stay awake any longer.”

OK, THESE MIGHT NOT BE HEADLINES ANY MORE

RSS feed Subscribe to our feed       Delicious Are we delicious?       Digg Add us to Digg       Technorati Bookmark us       Twitter Follow us on Twitter